Back when I moved away from Billings, one of the reasons was so I could finally “come out” and live free, because I thought that this town had all the culture of a petri dish and people so narrow-minded that they could see through the keyhold with both eyes. I moved to Denver and was able to finally do that and be proud of who and what I was – it seemed like such a natural thing – then we moved out to California, and that was probably the most hectic year ever, despite the beautiful scenery.
Little did I realize that moving back to Billings was actually a GOOD thing! It took a little doing, but I finally eeked out of the closet in little bits here and there, and then once things felt right, just stepped out into the open. It felt natural again! HERE of all places! I was finally able to spend some time and realize my identity and who I was, and start finally beginning the healing process and becoming whole once again.
HERE – of all places! Back where I started from! I honestly didn’t think it was possible for this town to ever change, but it seems I was proved wrong. Then again, it may be due to my rather imposing stature, but I would have done it even if I was a foot shorter than I am (heaven knows there are days I wish that). This town is full of a supportive and accepting atmospher, but one just has to look to see it. Confidence plays a huge part in this too – if you act nervous and unsure of yourself, people will pick up on it. For me, this is who I am, and it’s part of my being, and I think people know this when they see me and talk to me.
I’m much happier now than I was before, and I feel like a complete person again. It’s not just the trappings, it’s the whole idea and inner image that goes along with it. I’ve also found many of my friends are of varying lifestyles, and I think it’s truly a beautiful thing to be able to talk about it openly with one another.
I won’t burst into a chorus of “A Whole New World” or anything like that, but I gotta hand it to Billings – even though the council has changed it’s nickname, it’s still the “Magic City” for me.